What's a mom got to do to get some sleep???

Is there anything more beautiful than a sleeping baby?

One of the most repeated (and annoying!) pieces of advice I received when I was pregnant was, "Make sure to sleep now, because you won't later!"  Yes, annoying, for two reasons: 1) When you have a watermelon, or even a large peach, pressing on your bladder 24 hours a day, it is hard to do ANYTHING without visiting the bathroom every two hours.  2) It's not like sleeping a lot when you are pregnant would help with sleep deprivation after the baby arrives, anyway.  Therefore, I made myself promise to never give this piece of advice to any other pregnant woman. 

Although annoying, now that I have been a mother for 7 months, I do realize the heart behind this piece of advice.  First time pregnant women (and I sure do know a lot of you...is this the 2010 baby boom or what?), hear me now.  Sleep deprivation is unlike anything else you've ever dealt with.  You will not believe how incredibly hard it is to be sweet and patient when you are living day after day on little sleep.  You will realize the absolute importance of UNINTERRUPTED sleep.  You will realize how selfish this body of yours really is, and how it craves sleep.  

Ok, there's the bad news.  But I'm an eternal optimist, so here's the good news.  Your baby might be a good sleeper from the get-go.  I know quite a few moms that swear their babies were.  And although it's very hard for me to imagine, some say their babies slept through the night before they were even one month old.  My seven month old angel has just started sleeping through the night.  But more on that later.  

More good news...you can actually do things to help your baby sleep through the night.  After reading virtually every book on the subject, and trying almost all of the "fail-proof" methods, I'd like to weigh in on the subject for anyone who cares.  Contrary to what Johnson & Johnson want you to think, getting a baby to sleep is a lot more of a job than just giving them a blissful bubbly bath in their calming line of products.  Here are some things I learned:

1) Get on a routine during the day.  The eat/play/sleep routine did WONDERS for us.  Not in the sleeping through the night dilemma, but in general.  A friend of mine who has her master's degree in education and I were talking yesterday about babies loving patterns.  Babies really do pay attention to small details, things that we as adults would miss.  Babies also crave routine.  I read a couple of books, On Becoming Babywise and The Baby Whisperer, that promote this idea and decided to try it.  Although not everything in both of the books worked for us, nor do I agree with everything in either book.  However, the importance of routine proved itself to me.  After instituting a routine, Ariella was just a much happier baby.  She knew what to expect.  She knew that when she woke up from a nap, Mommy would feed her and then she would get to play (even if playing just means laying on the floor looking around a things when you are just a newborn). 

2) Getting to sleep is a journey.  Think of every naptime and bedtime as a journey.  In the beginning, you will have to help your baby a lot.  In every "play" period, I built in a little "quiet time" where Ariella and I would go in her room and just lay down on the twin guest bed in her room and we would read a story or I would sing to her.  It seemed to really signal to her that "after this, we are going to sleep."  If she was wired from being overtired, I would nurse her a little to calm her down (the books above advise you not to do this).  Then I would put her in her crib and just sit in a chair beside her crib and she would look around while she sucked on her pacifier until her eyelids got too heavy.  It took some time, but now she is much better at going to sleep independently.  If she is truly tired now, I can put her in her crib, give her the pacifier and she rolls onto her side away from me - which I interpret to mean,  "Ok, Mom, I got this.  I'm ready to sleep now."

3) Use a pacifier appropriately...or don't.  At the very beginning, Ariella wouldn't take the pacifier.  I don't think she knew what to do with it since it was so different from what she was used to sucking on for her food.  But that meant that for her suckling time, she wanted me.  All the time.  So we began consistently giving it to her at bedtime, and within a few days she loved it.  However, we only gave it to her at naptime or bedtime.  And it is really a great invention, seriously. However, I did not want one of those two year olds walking around with one.  So the rule is, you have to be in the crib for it.  Sometimes she finds one while she is playing and she doesn't even want one during "play" time.  She just takes it out and shakes it.  So it worked for us that way.  If you aren't comfortable with them at all, then don't do it.  If you are breastfeeding, don't worry about the nipple confusion thing.  We didn't have a problem with that at all.  We gave her bottles of breastmilk when she was a week old and she never had a problem with latching.  The pacifier didn't confuse her either.  I think once they learn, then it's like riding a bike, they don't forget.

4) The big CIO.  This is where the books mentioned above differ greatly.  CIO (crying it out) is perhaps one of the most controversial points of new parenthood.  I was hesitant at first, but found that a little crying before naps and bedtime is normal. Once we got using the pacifier a lot though, the crying before bed virtually ended.  However, our particular problem was not GETTING to sleep, it was STAYING asleep.  Up until a couple of weeks ago, Ariella's pattern was like this:

Go to bed (I tried several different bedtimes between 6 pm and 10 pm....8 pm works the best for us).

Sleep 4 or 5 hours. 

Nurse.

Sleep 2 hours.

Nurse.

Sleep 2 hours.

Nurse.

Sleep 1 or 2 hours.

The problem with the earlier bedtimes for us was that once she had slept her 4 or 5 hours, I was literally just going to bed and she was ready to wake up every 2 hours.  It was ok for a while, but after 6 months of this, it was madness.  I just could not take it anymore.  I knew she didn't like it either.  She was dreadfully upset when she woke at night.  I knew it was waking my husband up too, and we were both worse for the wear.  Our family needed some sleep.  So one night when she woke at 1 am (her "sticky point"), I didn't go to her.  I just turned our fan up really loud in our room.  Occasionally I would look at the monitor and then look at the clock to make sure it hadn't been too long.  I think she fell asleep after 45 minutes that first night.  And then miracle of miracles, she didn't wake up 2 hours later.  She slept until 6 am, when I nursed her.  The next night I did the same thing, and she did the same thing.  The third night she slept all the way until 4 am.  Now I feed her at 4 am and she goes back to sleep until 8 am.  Soon we will work on getting that 4 am feeding out, but for now it's fine with all 3 of us.  So that's how cry it out worked for us.  I will say that I don't recommend doing it to newborn babies or even under 3 months.  They really do need at least one feeding at night up until then anyway.  After all of my research, I recommend waiting until 6 months.  The 4 - 6 month stage is a big "growing and learning" stage and they can be very fussy.  It can make doing CIO at that time very hard on all parties involved.  I'm glad that we did it when we did.

Here we are seven months after our world completely changed.  Nothing will ever be the same.  I've been sleep-deprived and blissfully in love with my daughter for seven months.  And now, I am well-rested and happy and even more in love with my husband and daughter than ever before.  So here's my best piece of advice for a new mom, and it applies to everything across the board...IT DOES GET BETTER!!!  But don't live the first few months waiting for it to get better...enjoy the ride.  There are little moments of true joy in all of the sleep-deprived, sore-nippled, smelly-diapered newborn days that make it all worth it. 

The Beauty of Breastfeeding

One of the ironies of the human experience is that those things in life which present the most difficult challenges to us are the things that we hold most dearly.  One of the ironies of new motherhood is "How can something so natural be so difficult?"

Immediately after Ariella came into this world, we tried breastfeeding.  She suckled for about 30 seconds, and then fell asleep.  The nurses told me not to be disappointed as she was probably tired from a long labor and that we could try again later.  So a couple of hours later we tried again...same thing.  This continued throughout the whole night.  The next morning a lactation consultant came into try to help.  She was one of those "no nonsense" nurses that looked like she could beat your husband at football.  I was so intimidated as she forcefully shoved my breast into my sleepy infant's mouth.  "You have to keep waking her up if she falls asleep," she told me.  I asked her if she had any children, and she shook her head, "no."  "Ok, great", I thought, "I'm learning from someone who has never done this in her life!"  So every breastfeeding session after that became a battle of trying to keep Ariella awake.

A few days later, my milk started coming in and WOW...did that ever hurt!!!  Every time Ari latched on, I would squint my eyes and say "Lord help me!" until the pain subsided.  The best thing for that season of breastfeeding was the Lansinoh lanolin someone gave me at a baby shower.   It hurt so much that a few times I even considered pumping exclusively or going to formula feeding.  Even though everyone told me that it would get better, I thought it would hurt like that forever.

And "the people" were right!  It got way better about 2 weeks later, and our every 3 hour feeding sessions were a well-deserved 45 minute break for me to rest and read and pray.  I loved them and treasured those times.  I would even just stare at my suckling child for the entire time sometimes.  I couldn't believe that I was the recipient of such a precious gift...and that Hashem was allowing my body to produce her life-sustaining food!  What a miracle!

Now, 7 months later, I look back and miss those times.  We're still breastfeeding, but it goes so fast now.  She can drain both breasts in 7 minutes flat.  Barely enough time to read a good chapter or have a "good" prayer session.  Or even just to stare at every little characteristic of the side of her face or play with her toes.  (Ok, now I'm tearing up).  My baby is growing up! 

When I first started breastfeeding and it was so hard, I would think to myself, "Ok, just 3 more months of this."  Then I got to 3 months and thought, "Ok, 3 more months."  And now, I don't want to stop! I know I will at some point wean her, but right now as she is becoming more active and more independent, it's a much beloved time that is just for the two of us.

Sometimes I wondered why God made it so that only the woman has the ability to breastfeed her baby.  But then I thought about it.  God did not make male and female to be the same.  He made us with COUNTLESS differences, specialities, abilities, whatever you want to call them.  What a treasure He has given us as mothers!

So, to sum it all up, if you choose to breastfeed (and please do if you can!):

1. Pray, even before your baby is born, that God will make your body able to do it.  I found a prayer like this in the Artscroll Women's Siddur, and I prayed it every day in the last few months of my pregnancy.
2. Cherish the time you spend snuggling with your little one.  It really does go by really quickly!
3. Take care of yourself, get enough calories and rest so that your body can produce the milk.
4.  Don't stress...pray and talk to other moms when you need encouragement.
5.  If you have a little night owl like mine, side-lying nursing is AWESOME for letting you get some needed rest while your baby suckles.

"Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her,

all you who love her;

rejoice greatly with her,

all you who mourn over her.

For you will nurse and be satisfied

at her comforting breasts;

you will drink deeply

and delight in her overflowing abundance."

Isaiah 66:10-11

The Beauty of Separation, Taharat HaMishpachah

I have recently been reading a lot about Taharat HaMishpachah, the laws of family purity.  My beautiful friend over at Fearlessly Feminine just wrote a post about it, and I wanted to share it with you.  May you be blessed by it.

Walking a Mile

"So, like, what do you do all day?" If you are a stay-at-home mom (or dad), you have probably heard that question one too many times. It's such a funny question, isn't it? If you really had to answer what would you say?

Before our daughter was born, I worked the typical 9 to 5 office job and thought I did a pretty good job of keeping our house neat, making dinners, saving money...a self-described "domestic diva." But there were many things that I would say, "Well, I'll do that when I'm a stay-at-home mom." HAHA...yeah, right. I didn't realize that cleaning the floors, which used to take me an hour to do the whole house, will now take me a whole day. I read somewhere that when you have kids you can expect a 15 minute job to turn into a 45 minute job. So true.

I have a beautiful friend who has a daughter who is about 9 months older than mine. In addition to being a wonderful wife and mother, she is an amazing writer. Since I was in my blogging hayday, I would always tell her, "Joanna, you should write a blog!" And she would smile and say, "Yes, someday." I could never understand why she didn't have one...until now.

And now that her adorable daughter is a little older, the good news is that Joanna does have an awesome blog. I learn so much from her. Check it out...you will be glad you did!

Moral of the story: Never judge someone before you've walked a mile in their shoes. Especially a stay-at-home mom.

I also want to say a big YAY! for my best friend from college, Rebekah, who has just become a stay-at-home mom to her 5 month old daughter. It's a challenging job, but so worth it!

Picture availabe at AllPosters.com.

The (not so) Importance of STTN

It seems being a parent in America today takes knowing a whole lot - whether the Graco or Chicco travel system will match your car interior better, what crib mattresses are on recall, what childbirth class you had better take or else you and your baby will never bond, etc. Apparently, in addition to all of this, you need to know some acronyms. Actually, you become an acronym. After a month of being a mom, I found out that I was an EBFing, WAHM who was also a FTM. Interesting.

As my family and friends know, I frequently read my "baby board," a discussion group of moms (and a few dads) that all have babies born in the same month. There are FFers (formula feeders), BFers (breastfeeders), BWers (baby wearers), CSers (co-sleepers) and even something that I haven't quite figured out yet called ecoBFers. They discuss everything from diapers to pacifiers to what TV shows they watch when up for those late night feedings. But no single topic gets more play than STTN. Hands down, STTN is the winner.

Before my little bundle of joy was born, I never really thought about "sleeping through the night." Honestly, when I was pregnant, there weren't many nights I STTN myself because someone thought my bladder was a perfect kickball. So I assumed that babies are usually awake throughout the night. I was not prepared for the mass confusion and tons of (dissenting) information I was about to receive.

When we came home from the hospital, Ariella woke up every hour at night to eat or be held. I honestly thought it was normal. I was blissfully unaware that some of my friends' babies were STTN by the time they were 5 days old. One day when she was about two weeks old, I read in a magazine words that amazed me..."Don't worry if you are about to become a zombie; most babies STTN by the time they are 3 months old." Wow! I could not believe my eyes! To a woman who had not had more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep in a couple of weeks, that sounded great! I became ravenous for any material I could get my hands on about STTN.

I read so many suggestions...swaddle your baby, use white noise, put her down in her crib awake so that she learns to soothe herself to sleep, sleep with her, don't sleep with her, nurse her to sleep, never nurse her to sleep, on and on and on. I tried all of it. The swaddle did help until my fiesty little one (as her pediatrician called her) started kicking and pulling out of it at 8 weeks old. I tried other swaddling methods, but she got out of all of them. So I stopped swaddling.
We did get her on a routine, like a few of the books suggested, and that seemed to help with her naps (which was another big surprise). No one ever told me babies can only stay awake for about an hour when they are that little! After we got naps down pat, we started working on bedtime. We experimented with timing, routine, to do a bath or not, is she hot? is she cold? is she wet? is she hungry? EVERYTHING. Finally we got some sort of routine and time that seemed to work well...for awhile. (That's another thing I didn't know about babies - they change all the time, if something works for a week or two, it probably won't work in a month!)
All the while, we still have not STTN. We were getting close, down to about 2 wakings per night. Then we went on vacation, she got sick, and now we're back at about 5 wakings per night. Am I tired? Physically, a little. I'm more tired of trying so hard.

Yesterday, I was praying for Ariella and something hit me like a ton of bricks. Who cares if she STTN now? I read a book that said if she doesn't STTN soon, then she will be sure to have ADHD and be more likely to quit high school and end up in jail than those babies that are STTN. I usually finish books, but that one I promptly stopped and took back to the library. Did our grandmothers have all these books? What did they do? What does God think about STTN?

When I read the Bible (the real one, not one of the "What to Expect..." series), I see nothing about STTN. Ok, there are a few passages about sleep. But I don't think my baby is any less Godly because she has never STTN. (Ok, maybe I occasionally think that at 2 am!) What I do see, is that as a mom I had better focus more on developing her character and training her "in the way that she should go" than spending all my time trying to get her to sleep.

When I ask my mom about when I STTN when I was a baby, she doesn't seem to really remember. (And I don't have ADHD, I didn't quit high school and I've never been in jail, thank God!) Back then, they didn't focus on it like we do now. We are so competitive these days, it's almost like a reality TV show, like my baby is going to get "voted off the island" if she is the weakest link. We have Baby Einstein and yoga for babies and did you know your 3 month old can now read and do sign language and go potty?

Please don't think I am saying that sleep is unimportant. I know it is. There is a Yiddish saying, "Eating and drinking and sleeping all come naturally, but praying and studying Torah seem to take much effort." Ariella will STTN when she is ready to. Just as it took us a few days to learn to BF, she will learn to STTN. But I must teach her to pray and study God's Word. Those are the priorities. The other stuff is secondary. We have to keep first things first. And in my four and a half months as a mom, that's what I've learned.

Oh, gotta go...someone just woke up!

It's getting to be about that time...

I can't believe I haven't posted on here in 6 months. As you can imagine, life has been a little crazy. I'm now 32 weeks pregnant...and Baby M is due on August 3rd!

All in all, this has been a pretty uneventful pregnancy (Baruch Hashem!), and I can't wait to hold my little girl! Please be in prayer for us as her birth day quickly approaches.

Graphic available at AllPosters.com.

Breaking the Silence...

Ok folks, if you wanna know where I've been for the past few weeks, here's a "little" hint!

Where Have I Been???

I'm so sorry about my non-existence on here for the past week. In addition to my normal semi-hectic schedule, I had dental implant surgery done on Monday and have just not felt like being on the computer beyond the 8 hours at work. Honestly, the surgery itself did not hurt that much (probably less than my botched root canal a few years ago), but I think I should take it easy so that it all heals up quickly. Actually, only phase one of the implant is done, which is the titanium screw. The crown will be attached in about two months. I'm just so thankful that I didn't have to get a bridge. I feel like I'm too young for that! : )

I'm starting to wonder how women who have children do all of this. I'm tired enough after waking early and going to work and then coming home and cooking dinner and washing dishes and doing laundry! Blogging is fun for me, and I love reading other blogs but sometimes it just seems like there aren't enough hours in the day. I know I shouldn't worry. When God decides to bless my husband and me with a child, HE alone will give me the strength to be able to do it all. It's just that sometimes I feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed, and there's only two of us. I just want to be faithful with what God has given me responsibility for thus far. Does anyone else ever feel this way?

Fall Feast Time!

Well, I finally think Blogger is going to let me publish a post, and just in time for the fall feasts too!

As the fall feasts are less than a week away, there's no time like the present on starting with an introduction. For those of you that were reading during the spring feasts, you've got a head start so feel free to skip the next paragraph.

God's Biblical Calendar

Did you know that God has a calendar, and it's not the one that has January through December on it? God's calendar is (of course) in His Word; specifically, Leviticus 23. As you read this chapter, you will find that there are four feasts in the spring (Passover, Unleavened Bread and First Fruits and Pentecost - Pesach, Matzah, HaBikkurim and Shavu'ot) and three in the fall (Trumpets, Day of Atonement and Tabernacles - Yom Teruah or Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur and Sukkot). Additionally, Leviticus 23 discusses one more special day, but this one comes every week. Shabbat, or the Sabbath, is a day of rest that God's people are to observe every seventh day.

God's Calendar = Messianic Prophetic Timeline

The Messiah Yeshua is the living Torah. That means that everything (EVERYTHING) that He said and did was in accordance and in fulfillment of the Torah, including the feasts of the LORD. With the spring feasts it is very evident how Yeshua fulfilled them. He died on Passover and arose on Yom HaBikkurim, the Feast of Firstfruits. Fifty days later on Shavuot, the Feast of Weeks (also called Pentecost), the Ruach Kodesh (Holy Spirit) came down and filled the believers. For more on the spring feasts, see here and here.

As for the fall feasts, we know that Messiah Yeshua will be fulfilling them as well. Rosh HaShanah (known Biblically as Yom Teruah, the Day of Trumpets) will be the day that the great shofar is sounded, and Yeshua will be revealed. On Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, will be a day of judgment. Finally, on Sukkot (a seven day festival), God Himself will dwell with His people. We do not know the day (which year) or the hour (what time on that day), but we do know if Yeshua fulfilled all of the spring feasts on the exact day, then it's pretty clear that if He is who He said He was, then all the fall feasts will be fulfilled as well.

A Quick Note on the Meaning of Fulfillment

When I say that Yeshua "fulfilled" the feasts, please do not read "ended" or "stopped." Just like on my wedding day, my husband "fulfilled" his role as my husband but did not stop being my husband after that day. I am using the word "fulfill" as in "to make complete" or "to bring to fullness", as I believe it was used in Matthew 5.

Fall Feast Schedule for 2008

Days that are a Biblical "day of rest."

Rosh HaShanah - Begins at sundown on Monday, September 29.
Yom Kippur - Begins at sundown on Wednesday, October 8.
First Day of Sukkot - Begins at sundown on Monday, October 13.
Last Day of Sukkot - Begins at sundown on Monday, October 20.

More To Come...
Check back in the next few days for specific posts on how we celebrate each holiday. I'd LOVE to hear how you celebrate the feasts, or if you are new, if you have any questions. Maybe you'd like to share your favorite holiday recipe or another idea?

Picture available at AllPosters.com

Putting Your Spouse First

"If you treat your husband like a king, he will treat you like a queen." This wise advice from the Talmud is not something we have an easy time putting into practice. We're afraid we'll get stepped on, become doormats, we're concerned our needs won't be met, we don't want to feel like shmattes, we don't want it to be about him. ~ Emuna Braverman

Read the rest of the post here at Aish.com.

I'm Still Here!

I can't believe I haven't written ANYTHING in over a week on Tavita's Purse! I'm sooo slacking, and I apologize big time! If you want to know what I've been up to, here's a short list:

1) Preparing for the fall Holy Days (see Leviticus 23) - Rosh HaShana, Yom Kippur and Sukkot.

2) Preparing for imminent hurricanes that, thank God, never come. We've had the Weather Channel on almost 24/7 at our house, and I have never heard the words "Local on the 8's" so many times in my life!

3) Preparing lessons for my Shabbat School kids...I love them! They are the best. The class is kindergarteners up to fifth grade, so it's been a huge struggle to make lessons that will suit all of them. But I love the kids, so it's all good.

4) Spending quality time with my husband. I love him so much, and I realize that this season we are in right now will not be forever. So I am trying to treasure every moment that we have together right now.

5) Spending more quality time with friends. There's been birthday parties and impromptu get-togethers, and it's been so good. Friends are truly a gift from God!

6) Spending more quality time with God. As we have now entered into the Hebrew month of Elul, this is the time of preparation for some very important times in God's calendar (see number 1 above). I will try to write more about this soon.

Anyway, I know there's a lot of cool stuff going on in bloggy world, and I'm sorry for not being around lately. I hope to see you all back soon....Thanks for your patience!

Picture available at AllPosters.com.

A Man

A man -

Thinning hair, trying to cover a scalp burnt by the sun;

A dent where a beam at the fish house came a little too close;

Kind eyes, one blue, one hazel,

Eyes that can penetrate to the soul;

A set jaw, firm against any contrary thing;

A smile that turns up the edges of a salt and peppery beard;

Huge, calloused hands filled with lines and scars and fish scales;

A little bulge on the stomach, evidence that he "doesn't eat any sweets;"

Huge feet, the shoes of whom I loved to clop around in

But never could fill - my Dad.

Dad, they say a mother teaches her children who they are and a father teaches them what to do. You are such a G-dly example for me and the rest of the family, and we love you so much. Today we celebrate how much you mean to us. You have taught us the way to live, G-d's way to live, and that means more than words can say. I love you Daddy!

Have a wonderful birthday!

Graphic courtesy of Allposters.com.

Marriage Must Read!

Crystal has written another wonderful "Lovin' that Man of Mine" post today, and I thought I'd share in case you missed it!

Actually, what she writes about applies not only to husbands and wives, but to anyone in any form of relationship. Overall, a must read! Check it out...

Graphic courtesy of Allposters.com.

Frugal Friday Tip: No Secrets!

One day this week I was in an elevator with two other women who obviously knew each other. One of the women was excitedly telling her friend the following:

"I have my children trained. Now, when we pull up to our house, the kids check to see if Daddy is home. If he's there, we leave most of our shopping in the car and only bring in the essentials. If my husband is gone, the kids quickly bring in all the shopping, and we put it away as fast as possible so that he doesn't see it!"

As they laughed this little story off, I thought about how damaging this scenario is to this family. Mom feels that she can't share her shopping with her husband, and the children learn to hide things from their father. At some point, I'm sure Dad will see that he cannot trust Mom so much with financial issues. It's a vicious cycle.

However, I believe it may be more common than we'd like to admit. I know women that leave their shopping bags in the trunk of their car until the house is empty, as well as have secret credit cards and bank accounts. Now, I am not on a high horse about this. I, too, am guilty. When we first got married, I had a credit card to a certain lingerie store that I didn't bother telling my husband about. I didn't use it a lot, but when I did use it, I made sure to go to the store and pay the bill with cash so he would never know. I did this for about 3 months, when I began feeling very convicted about this. Not only was I essentially lying to my beloved husband, but I know that God was not pleased about what I was doing.

I thought, "If I do this about something "little" now, what will I lie or hide from him later?" This was NOT a good way to start off our marriage. So the very next day, I called up the company and canceled the account and cut up the card. Let me tell you - it felt so good!

Some couples deal with this issue by including some "discretionary spending money" in their weekly or monthly budget. Each spouse gets a certain dollar amount to spend without having to tell the other spouse what they spent it on. We don't do this in our household, but I'm sure it works great for other people. I'd be interested to hear if any of you do this or have ideas!

How does this apply to Frugal Friday? Well, if you are thinking about buying something that you are ashamed to tell your spouse about, you probably should not be buying it in the first place. This will not only be good for our bank accounts, but, even more importantly, strengthening to our marriages! I can't tell you how good it feels that I don't have to worry about hiding anything!

This is a great way to not only be frugal, but also to "build up our homes", as the Bible says:

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Proverbs 14:1

Go to Biblical Womanhood for more great Frugal Friday ideas!

Graphic courtesy of AllPosters.com.

Good things are coming...

Hello my gracious friends....I want to say a sincere "I'm sorry" for being a little out of the loop lately. I have been doing a lot of thinking, praying, spending time with my family, but I wanted to let you know that good things are coming on Tavita's Purse! Here's a few posts that are on their way:

1) A review and interview with the author of the above-pictured Bible Study, Feast by Derek Lehman. I am just received this in the mail yesterday, and am already really excited about this resource distributed by LifeWay. It looks so good, and I am so ready to delve into this!

2) Frugal Father's Day Feast pictures! My sister, my mom, my hubby and I spent a good part of Sunday making a really nice (and beautiful) meal for our beloved patriarch! As soon as my sister sends me the pictures, I'll share them with you (hint, hint Beth!).

3) My Weight-Loss Progress...Yeah, it's a little embarrassing, but I know if I share my progress on here I will be more motivated. My goal is to lose 15 pounds...frugally, of course! I'll let you know how it goes! I've never had to lose this much weight, so if you have any suggestions please let me know. At first I was a little discouraged that I had done this to myself and that I might not be able to do it, but then this verse from Zechariah came to my mind, "Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the LORD." I know that "I can do ALL things through Messiah who strengthens me!"

So these are a little of what is to come, so please don't stop checking back! I'm not sure if I'll be CVSing this week, but if you want to see the deals head on over to The "Cent"sible Sawyer.
Be blessed...

I also need your input!
Let me know what you like, what you don't like, or what you would like to see more of on Tavita's Purse...Thanks!

Congratulations Are In Order!

Congratulations to Monica for winning this book for our Shavuot Giveaway! Thank you to the other entries as well...I wish I could give everyone something! I think giveaways are very fun, so look for more of them on here. I love sharing the richness and deepness of God's Word with others, as we encourage each other as "iron sharpens iron."



The above-mentioned book is a great one, that teaches what the Bible means when it says to "write them [God's Words] on the doorposts of your houses and upon your gates." (see Deuteronomy 6:4-9) I remember when I was young, my father put a big, framed placard containing these verses right beside our front door. He promised my sister and I that if we learned the entire thing and could recite it to him, we would receive a prize. We studied very hard, and by the end of the week we both recited it to him. What a great memory...and I still know these verses by heart!

As I just reached my quarter of a century birthday, I see that more and more the verses I learned as a child drift into my mind at precisely the right moment. It shows me that not only is Shabbat School (or Sunday School) majorly important in the lives of our children, but more importantly, what is taught in the home. I'm not a parent yet, but at this stage in my life I can't believe how much my Biblical upbringing still surfaces in my life each and every day. I am so thankful to my parents that they made God the center of our home, and that worship wasn't something simply reserved for one day a week but every single day. No one has a perfect life, so for those of you who did not have such a childhood, do not feel bad. God gives us all different trials and tests, and makes each life beautiful with whatever we are given. We only are resposible for what He gives us. Sometimes I used to feel embarrased that I didn't have this "great" testimony, such as I was a "drug-addicted prostitute" and then I came to God. However, recently God has shown me that we all have a story and that story is beautiful and precious to Him. So today, I simply want to thank God for my story, and YOUR story too, because it's all of our stories combined that portrays the vast array of God's grace in our lives.

Frugal Friday: Saving $$$ on Travel

1. Check your credit cards or other clubs to see if you have any "travel points" that can be redeemed.

My husband found that we had a good amount of travel points on one of our cards that could be redeemed for about a two night stay. That was good news to help offset the cost of the trip. Now...where to stay???

2. Search online for the best rates, and to narrow down your choices.

I began by searching the major travel sites: Hotels.com, Expedia, Orbitz and Travelocity. One thing that I immediately noticed was that all of these sites had basically the same rates for the same hotels (Hotels.com was slightly better on a few). I also noticed that Hotels.com and Expedia are affiliated, so not only were they giving the same prices but they also had the same promotion, which brings me to my third tip.

3. Look for current deals and promotions that may apply to your stay.

The current promotion on Hotels.com and Expedia is this: Book 3 nights at any hotel, and receive a $50 gift card back in the mail. Use coupon code GAS50 when you are booking (the promotion is automatic on Expedia). Knowing the cost of gas these days, this helped to decide that we really could stay that extra night as we were hoping!

4. Be mindful of the day of the week you book your travel plans.

On Tuesday, the prices were moderate...not too exciting, but not too pricey either. On Wednesday morning, I was shocked to see that many of the hotels I had been watching were around 40% less than what they were the day before. I'm very glad that we ended up booking on Wednesday night because on Thursday morning, the very same hotel (similar room) we had booked was $13 more per night! This tip saved us $39 alone! [Edit: I checked again on Friday morning and the price has gone up another $5 per night on that particular hotel, similar room!]

5. Call the hotel to see if they can give you a better rate.

This didn't work in our case, but I have heard that many times if you ask nicely and tell the reservationist the price you are getting online you can sometimes get an even more discounted price.

6. Make sure to read the site's cancellation/change policy, as well as the individual hotel's policy.

Since the promotion and rates were identical on both Expedia and Hotels.com, we could have booked on either site. However, I noticed that Hotels.com does not charge for cancellations or changes but I did not see that same information on Expedia. Also, Hotels.com has a Price Match Guarantee that if you find the same hotel room online at a better rate than what you booked on their site prior to your stay, they will match the price.

7. Confirm that the hotel has the amenities you want BEFORE you book.

Even if you pay a low rate, it's not a great deal unless you get what you really wanted!

Although I'm far from an expert on frugal travel, a little bit of research went a long way. If you have any ideas you have for this or experiences to share, please do in the comment section. I'd love to hear!

Head back to Biblical Womanhood for more great Frugal Friday tips!

Thanks to Allposters.com for the graphic.

Frugal Friday: When I'm Not Frugal

If you watched the above video, you've probably figured out that the one thing I'm not frugal about is Shabbat, or the weekly Sabbath. All week long I plan and strive to save pennies on everything from toilet paper to bananas. However, when it comes to items I am purchasing for the Sabbath, I try to buy only the best. Why?

In Exodus 20, God says to "make the Sabbath holy." That can mean many things to different people, but one thing that I'm convinced of is that He wants us to make it special. This is something that my father taught me when I was growing up. I remember him saying, "Every penny you spend in preparation for the Sabbath increases your joy when Shabbat comes." So for Frugal Friday, I'm going to tell you what my family does for the Shabbat meal on Friday evening...however UNfrugal it may be!

1. Woman of the Home Lights the Candles

We buy "special" candles that are only used for Shabbat, and have special candlesticks for this purpose. I light the candles and then I say the traditional blessing, followed by another extemporaneous prayer of thanksgiving to God for providing and sustaining us throughout the week. Also we bless God for sending Yeshua the Messiah, the Light of the World!

2. We sing a song, and then my husband reads (or sings) Proverbs 31 to me.

I have to say that I used to feel embarrassed at this part; I mean, how can I live up to the Proverbs 31 woman? But now, I just bask in it because I feel my husband is speaking words of prophecy over my life, that I am in the process of becoming that "woman of valor." This is also traditionally when the father lays a blessing on the children, but we don't have any to do that for yet...but someday, God willing!

3. We bless God for the wine (or grape juice).

For this, we use special grape juice or sometimes even buy wine, which is a treat in our house! We bless God for Yeshua the Messiah, the True Vine.

4. We bless God for the bread.

In the blessing we are thanking God for His provision of our "daily bread," and also for giving us Yeshua the Messiah, the Bread of Life! Again, we use special challah bread that is not usually a frugal bread to buy or bake. However, this is a tradition that we simply won't do without! It's just not Shabbat in our house without that wonderful challah aroma in the air! By the way, my mother is an amazing challah-baker!

5. We eat! (Surprise, surprise)

This is the really unfrugal part, but it's the most joyful meal of the entire week. Throughout the week we think of ways to make our meal even more special. Usually my husband and I don't eat much meat throughout the week, except for ground chicken and occasionally kosher hot dogs, so on Shabbat we go all out! My husband is an amazing cook, thank God, and he usually makes matzah ball soup and some awesome beef, chicken, or fish. It's my job to do the veggies and the dessert. By the way, the women in my family say the food doesn't have calories on Shabbat, haha!

6. We thank God again.

Did you know in the Bible it's actually a commandment to pray AFTER you eat? I didn't know that until recently, but in Deuteronomy 8:10 God says, "When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land which He has given you." (NASB)

7. We relax, sing songs, and enjoy each other's presence.

Shabbat is wonderful no matter if you are alone (with God) or with thousands. However, it's best celebrated with family, as portrayed in the above video. There's something awesome that happens when you have a wife praying over her family, a husband praising his wife in front of the children, and then the father pronouncing his blessing over his sons and daughters. I remember when I was 9 years old and my family celebrated our first Shabbat dinner. Right after dinner my sister and I said, "Daddy, can we please do this again next week?"

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." The mouth of the LORD has spoken." Isaiah 58:13-14 (NIV)

To learn more about celebrating a Shabbat dinner in your home, see this site and this site.

Although we all have different traditions, there's probably at least one thing that each one of us is not frugal about? What about you? What is your "unfrugal" thing?

And for some (actually) frugal ideas, check out Biblical Womanhood.

Happy Mother's Day!

We love you Mom!

And you shall teach them diligently to your children...

And it shall be, when your children say to you, ‘What do you mean by this service?’ that you shall say, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice of the LORD, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt when He struck the Egyptians and delivered our households.’” So the people bowed their heads and worshiped.

Exodus 12:26-27 (NKJV)

As I was preparing the lesson last night for our children's Shabbat School, I thought it might be a good idea to post it on here for you to use with your children! As usual, I learned much as I studied the subject of the Four Questions of the Passover seder (seder translates to "order" in English, referring to the order of the festive meal).

Shabbat School (or Homeschool) Lesson: The Four Questions

Materials needed:

- Fresh parsley sprigs (one for each child)

- Small plates (one for each child)

- Bowl of salt water

- Piece of fresh horseradish (or spoonful of prepared horseradish)

- You may make charoset for the children if they won't be attending a seder (see recipe link)

- Pillow (one for each child)

- Coloring pages for each element

- CD including song "Ma Nishtana" (Four Questions in a song - I have this one)

*If your children are new to Passover, you may want to introduce the story found in the beginning of Exodus to them first. For the purposes here, I will begin where I will be teaching from (most of our children have done a Passover seder at least once).

Who asks the Four Questions at the Passover seder?

- Traditionally at the seder meal, the Four Questions are sung or read by the youngest child.

- The answers are to give a brief overview of the story of Passover, as found in Exodus 12.

What are the Four Questions?

It is really one main question with four clauses.

Main question: "Why is this night different from all other nights?"

Four clauses:

1. On all other nights we eat bread or matzah, why on this night do we only eat matzah?

2. On all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs, why on this night do we eat bitter herbs?

3. On all other nights we do not dip our vegetables even once, why on this night do we dip our vegetables twice?

4. On all other nights we eat sitting or reclining, why on this night do we only eat reclining?

Answers to the Four Questions

1. We only eat matzah on Passover because our ancestors had to leave Egypt in a hurry. God told them not to put leaven in their dough, as it would not have time to rise (Exodus 12:34). We observe it today to remember the temporary nature of our earthly home.

- Show the children a piece of matzah and ask them how it's different from regular bread.

- Explain how leaven works.

Messianic significance: In the Bible, leaven is a symbol for sin or pride. It is that which "puffs up." Talk to the children about how Messiah Yeshua was sinless, so the matzah can be a symbol for Yeshua!

2. We only eat maror (bitter herbs) to remind us of the bitterness of slavery that our ancestors endured in Egypt.

-Show the children the horseradish and tell them how bitter it is.

-Tell them they will get to try it later.

Messianic significance: We can remember the harshness and suffering of Yeshua's execution through the bitterness of the maror. It may even bring you to tears!

3. We dip twice:

(1) Parsley in salt water - representing tears from the bitterness of slavery

(2) Bitter herbs in charoset (sweet mixture of fruit, nuts and wine or grape juice)

Messianic significance: We remember the tears of those who were close to Yeshua when he died, but their tears turned to joy when they saw the resurrected Messiah. It's a reminder that God turns our mourning into joy!

4. In ancient times, only those who were free were allowed to recline at a meal. The slaves had to eat standing or sitting straight up. Once we were slaves, now we are free!

Messianic significance: Yeshua did this at his Last Seder (Matthew 26:20). We can rest (recline) in the work of atonement that Messiah's death and resurrection accomplished!

- Now give each child a small piece of matzah, a tiny (very tiny!) piece of horseradish, a sprig of parsley, spoonful of charoset (if you make it), and their pillow.

- Help them dip the matzah in the horseradish (and charoset) and taste, the sprig of parsley in the salt water and taste, and recline on their pillow.

Coloring Activity/Song

- Now allow the children to color the pages. I love using Torah Tots, as they have great coloring pages for every single part of the Torah! The Passover coloring pages are found on this page. The ones I am using for the Four Questions are this one, this one, this one and this one.

- While the children color, you could play the Four Questions song ("Ma Nishtana") for them and then teach them the words if you like!

Let me know if you have any questions. I hope this is a great help for introduction or preparation for children to the Passover seder. I will continue to post my preparation tips as the holiday nears (evening of April 19th this year)! Remember, you can still get your FREE Passover Resource or order your own Passover HaGaddah here. Not sure if Passover is for you? Read this post.

To order the book pictured above, go here.