Watchmen Wednesday: Watching Over Your Household

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

Usually when I do a Watchmen Wednesday, I post about Israel, as we are called to be "watchmen on the walls" for Israel.  However, today I was reading a transcript of the Revive Our Hearts radio program, and realized something else: We, as women, are called to the be the "watchwomen" of our homes. 

So many people have asked me the question: "Why in a Jewish wedding does the bride circle the groom?"  And honestly, it's easy to explain if that person understands the basic concepts of the Jewish family, that the wife is considered the "bayis", the home.  However, most of the time, that question comes from someone that isn't familiar with that line of thinking, and I've found myself at a loss for the correct verbage.  But today as I was reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss's teaching, I suddenly exclaimed (in my head, because the baby was napping), "What a perfect explanation of the Jewish wedding ceremony!  She explained it perfectly!"

So here is an excerpt of that teaching:

We’ve been camping out in Proverbs 31, and particularly on verse 27, where we’re told that the virtuous woman is a woman who watches over the ways of her household. We’ve talked about watching, in practical ways, to make sure that the needs of our families are met. But there’s another very important way that you watch over the ways of your household—that’s in prayer.

In the New Testament, we often find watching and praying linked together. Jesus said, “Watch and pray, so that you don’t fall into temptation” (Matthew 26:41, Mark 14:38). It’s a protection for you to watch and pray over the ways of your household, but it’s also a wonderful means that you provide a protection for your husband.

Your husbands, if they are in almost any work environment that you can think of, are being faced with temptations and with pressures. The enemy, Satan himself, is working to pull them down, especially if your husband is a believer and wanting to walk with God. There are lots and lots and lots of opportunities for him to fail spiritually, morally, and in other ways.


What a blessing it is for a man to know that back home there’s a wife who’s watching and praying on his behalf, and praying that as he goes out into that world, God will protect him and God will keep his heart pure.


Ladies, if you’re not going to pray that for your husband, who do you think is going to pray that for him? Who’s going to watch and pray for his soul? You can protect him in that way, and you protect your children as you watch and pray. Ask the Lord to show you things that you need to be alert to, in their lives.

Yes, this is exactly what she is doing when the bride circles the groom. Usually when I say, "She is building a protection around him", people look at me funny and say, "Isn't HE supposed to protect HER?" And I think in many ways, yes, of course the husband protects the wife, definitely physcially. But as a wife, it is her high calling to protect him spiritually, by praying for him and watching over the affairs of their household.

I can't tell you how much I am learning from Nancy Leigh DeMoss as I've signed up for the True Woman Makeover to read Proverbs 31 every day for 30 days.  I highly recommend it for ANY woman, single, married, children, no children, whatever your current status.  
 
So ladies, I'd like to hear from you!  In what ways are you a watchwoman over your household?  Anything specific you want to share?
 
Photo available at AllPosters.com.

Putting Your Spouse First

"If you treat your husband like a king, he will treat you like a queen." This wise advice from the Talmud is not something we have an easy time putting into practice. We're afraid we'll get stepped on, become doormats, we're concerned our needs won't be met, we don't want to feel like shmattes, we don't want it to be about him. ~ Emuna Braverman

Read the rest of the post here at Aish.com.

Marriage Must Read!

Crystal has written another wonderful "Lovin' that Man of Mine" post today, and I thought I'd share in case you missed it!

Actually, what she writes about applies not only to husbands and wives, but to anyone in any form of relationship. Overall, a must read! Check it out...

Graphic courtesy of Allposters.com.

Frugal Friday Tip: No Secrets!

One day this week I was in an elevator with two other women who obviously knew each other. One of the women was excitedly telling her friend the following:

"I have my children trained. Now, when we pull up to our house, the kids check to see if Daddy is home. If he's there, we leave most of our shopping in the car and only bring in the essentials. If my husband is gone, the kids quickly bring in all the shopping, and we put it away as fast as possible so that he doesn't see it!"

As they laughed this little story off, I thought about how damaging this scenario is to this family. Mom feels that she can't share her shopping with her husband, and the children learn to hide things from their father. At some point, I'm sure Dad will see that he cannot trust Mom so much with financial issues. It's a vicious cycle.

However, I believe it may be more common than we'd like to admit. I know women that leave their shopping bags in the trunk of their car until the house is empty, as well as have secret credit cards and bank accounts. Now, I am not on a high horse about this. I, too, am guilty. When we first got married, I had a credit card to a certain lingerie store that I didn't bother telling my husband about. I didn't use it a lot, but when I did use it, I made sure to go to the store and pay the bill with cash so he would never know. I did this for about 3 months, when I began feeling very convicted about this. Not only was I essentially lying to my beloved husband, but I know that God was not pleased about what I was doing.

I thought, "If I do this about something "little" now, what will I lie or hide from him later?" This was NOT a good way to start off our marriage. So the very next day, I called up the company and canceled the account and cut up the card. Let me tell you - it felt so good!

Some couples deal with this issue by including some "discretionary spending money" in their weekly or monthly budget. Each spouse gets a certain dollar amount to spend without having to tell the other spouse what they spent it on. We don't do this in our household, but I'm sure it works great for other people. I'd be interested to hear if any of you do this or have ideas!

How does this apply to Frugal Friday? Well, if you are thinking about buying something that you are ashamed to tell your spouse about, you probably should not be buying it in the first place. This will not only be good for our bank accounts, but, even more importantly, strengthening to our marriages! I can't tell you how good it feels that I don't have to worry about hiding anything!

This is a great way to not only be frugal, but also to "build up our homes", as the Bible says:

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Proverbs 14:1

Go to Biblical Womanhood for more great Frugal Friday ideas!

Graphic courtesy of AllPosters.com.

Recapture the Nobility of Home

There is a Jewish proverb that says, "Words from the heart enter the heart." Well, this must-read post by Crystal is exactly that. I thought it was so beautiful that it brought me to tears. Please read it and let me know your thoughts!

What do children really learn from us?

"A married couple asked for a blessing that their children behave properly. The Rebbe's reply seems simple, but since I have not seen it in any parenting book I'm including it here. Sometimes the most obvious is also the most inconvenient -and therefore the most avoided.

Behave yourselves properly. When the children see your example, they will naturally want to do the same as their parents. Then it is only a matter of talking with them, step by step, day after day, and eventually it will help."

-From Tzvi Freeman

I'm not a parent yet, but this seems like pretty good advice to me. I know that the "Do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do" type of parenting does not work, and actually enrages children more than helping them. As a young lady that would like to be a mother someday, I read this and felt that this is good advice to anyone, single or married. We can always improve on our treatment of others. It also reminded me of how HaSatan (the Adversary) tries to destroy any semblance of Shalom Bayit (peace in the home). Thus, the reasons for the typical Friday afternoon (or Sunday morning to some) squabbles. We must fight to allow the Sar Shalom (Prince of Peace) to reign in our hearts and our homes. As women, I feel that at times we have the opportunity to control this in the home a little more than men. We have the power to hold our tongues or to respond with a quiet and gentle voice, when there may be a soul in need of just that. Like the old saying goes, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." It's so hard, but it's undeniably important. B'ezrat HaShem (With God's help), we can allow peace to reign - even when the soup's boiling over, the phone is ringing, the TV's blaring, and coffee just got spilled all over the mail. In our weakness, He is strong!

Any thoughts or advice?

Looks like this may be the topic of the day...

I read this today and I had to post it. These words are beautiful...

Marriage is a microcosm of the soul's descent into this world:
If you are here looking for what you can get out of this world, then the world and all its trappings will only drag you down.
But if you are looking for what you can give, then you, your part of the world, and your soul, all are uplifted and filled with light.
So too, when you enter a marriage:Look for what you can give, and reap harmony and love.

-Tzvi Freeman

...but JOY comes in the morning!

"She rises while it is still dark; she provides food for her family..."
~ Proverbs 31:15

Those of you that know me well know that up until recently I have not been a "morning person". I was the kind of girl that read Proverbs 31, and thought, "Yeah, all that stuff is great, except for verse 15." However, a few weeks ago I was challenged by a blog I read that encouraged women to take a week and make yourself get up 30 minutes earlier. I was not prepared for what was going to happen.
Like the blog suggested I made myself turn off the TV an hour earlier the evening before the much-anticipated event. I found that once I did that, I suddenly felt so ready to head off to sleepy land. When the alarm clock went off, I pushed myself out into the darkness and made sure that once I got the bedroom door closed (I didn't want to wake up dear hubby at that odd hour!) I turned on the brightest light in my living room. Well, that was the day that history was made in my household. I can't tell you how hard it was to actually do, but let me tell you, the rewards are way worth it! It is seriously odd how an extra 30 minutes can add a seemingly large amount of time to your day. I get so so much more done now, and I am starting to think about getting up another 30 minutes earlier than before!
If you are crazy enough to try this, here are my suggestions. Of course, do what works for you and your family (I'm not a mom yet, so I know that moms may need to tweak my suggestions to fit their situation).
1. Start your bedtime routine an hour earlier. I used to start winding down around 10 pm, which would put me going to sleep around 10:30 or 11 pm. Now, I make sure that TV (or music or computer) is in the OFF position by 9 pm, which forces me to actually get off to sleep by 9:30 or 10 pm.
2. When alarm clock sounds, DO NOT push snooze. This will not help you get up earlier, but when you actuallly do get up you are certain to be in a bad mood. Take this one SERIOUSLY.
3. First things first. Take time to read your Bible and pray first. The amount of time you spend on this is up to you, but you won't believe how clear your mind is in the early morning. I get so much more out of my quiet time when I have it early in the morning rather than at lunchtime or at night. I like to snuggle up on my couch with a mug of hot tea (or coffee if you prefer) and have intimate time with my Heavenly Abba. Also, added bonus for you that are married or have children, this really gives you great time to feel like you are really "alone" with Him. If you are not a believer, and you still would like to get the most benefit from your early morning, I suggest taking time to journal your thoughts and just sit. I think there is definitely not enough time that we actually spend with our media off in this day and age. You won't believe how intelligent you actually can be when you've had a good night's sleep.
4. Exercise. I personally like to walk/jog around my neighborhood, even if it is only once around the block. Do whatever you like to do! This also can be a continuation of number 3, as I like to pray for my community as I walk around.
5. Plan your day. If you work outside the home like me, this is fairly simple, but also consider mealtimes. What are you going to do for lunch? Maybe you should pack something (and save about $10). What about dinner? I like to prepare (or at least plan the meal) one thing that I otherwise would have had to make when I get home from work.
There are many more things that you can do with your time in the morning. I'm still a rookie at this, but I absolutely love it. If you are daring and you want to try this, let me know how it goes! Or if you already do this, let me know if you have any advice about time management and rising early.

Here is an old poem that I heard almost every week as a little girl. I found it again on the Internet, and I hope it blesses you as it has blessed me.

"I met God in the morning"
I met God in the morning when the day was at its best,
And His Presence came like sunrise,
Like a glory in my breast.
All day long the Presence lingered,
All day long He stayed with me,
And we sailed in perfect calmness
O'er a very troubled sea.
Other ships were blown and battered,
Other ships were sore distressed,
But the winds that seemed to drive them,
Brought to me a peace and rest.
Then I thought of other mornings,
With a keen remorse of mind,
When I too had loosed the moorings,
With the presence left behind.
So, I think I know the secret,
Learned from many a troubled way:
You must seek Him in the morning
If you want Him through the day!
~ Ralph Cushman