The Beauty of Breastfeeding

One of the ironies of the human experience is that those things in life which present the most difficult challenges to us are the things that we hold most dearly.  One of the ironies of new motherhood is "How can something so natural be so difficult?"

Immediately after Ariella came into this world, we tried breastfeeding.  She suckled for about 30 seconds, and then fell asleep.  The nurses told me not to be disappointed as she was probably tired from a long labor and that we could try again later.  So a couple of hours later we tried again...same thing.  This continued throughout the whole night.  The next morning a lactation consultant came into try to help.  She was one of those "no nonsense" nurses that looked like she could beat your husband at football.  I was so intimidated as she forcefully shoved my breast into my sleepy infant's mouth.  "You have to keep waking her up if she falls asleep," she told me.  I asked her if she had any children, and she shook her head, "no."  "Ok, great", I thought, "I'm learning from someone who has never done this in her life!"  So every breastfeeding session after that became a battle of trying to keep Ariella awake.

A few days later, my milk started coming in and WOW...did that ever hurt!!!  Every time Ari latched on, I would squint my eyes and say "Lord help me!" until the pain subsided.  The best thing for that season of breastfeeding was the Lansinoh lanolin someone gave me at a baby shower.   It hurt so much that a few times I even considered pumping exclusively or going to formula feeding.  Even though everyone told me that it would get better, I thought it would hurt like that forever.

And "the people" were right!  It got way better about 2 weeks later, and our every 3 hour feeding sessions were a well-deserved 45 minute break for me to rest and read and pray.  I loved them and treasured those times.  I would even just stare at my suckling child for the entire time sometimes.  I couldn't believe that I was the recipient of such a precious gift...and that Hashem was allowing my body to produce her life-sustaining food!  What a miracle!

Now, 7 months later, I look back and miss those times.  We're still breastfeeding, but it goes so fast now.  She can drain both breasts in 7 minutes flat.  Barely enough time to read a good chapter or have a "good" prayer session.  Or even just to stare at every little characteristic of the side of her face or play with her toes.  (Ok, now I'm tearing up).  My baby is growing up! 

When I first started breastfeeding and it was so hard, I would think to myself, "Ok, just 3 more months of this."  Then I got to 3 months and thought, "Ok, 3 more months."  And now, I don't want to stop! I know I will at some point wean her, but right now as she is becoming more active and more independent, it's a much beloved time that is just for the two of us.

Sometimes I wondered why God made it so that only the woman has the ability to breastfeed her baby.  But then I thought about it.  God did not make male and female to be the same.  He made us with COUNTLESS differences, specialities, abilities, whatever you want to call them.  What a treasure He has given us as mothers!

So, to sum it all up, if you choose to breastfeed (and please do if you can!):

1. Pray, even before your baby is born, that God will make your body able to do it.  I found a prayer like this in the Artscroll Women's Siddur, and I prayed it every day in the last few months of my pregnancy.
2. Cherish the time you spend snuggling with your little one.  It really does go by really quickly!
3. Take care of yourself, get enough calories and rest so that your body can produce the milk.
4.  Don't stress...pray and talk to other moms when you need encouragement.
5.  If you have a little night owl like mine, side-lying nursing is AWESOME for letting you get some needed rest while your baby suckles.

"Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her,

all you who love her;

rejoice greatly with her,

all you who mourn over her.

For you will nurse and be satisfied

at her comforting breasts;

you will drink deeply

and delight in her overflowing abundance."

Isaiah 66:10-11

The Beauty of Separation, Taharat HaMishpachah

I have recently been reading a lot about Taharat HaMishpachah, the laws of family purity.  My beautiful friend over at Fearlessly Feminine just wrote a post about it, and I wanted to share it with you.  May you be blessed by it.

Blockbuster Express: Free Night Movie Rental on Wednesdays

If you're looking for a cheap date night activity, renting a movie from a kiosk is a great idea. Here's something to make it even cheaper...a code for a free night every Wednesday from Blockbuster Express. The code is 212A4

Check here to find a kiosk near you!

Walking a Mile

"So, like, what do you do all day?" If you are a stay-at-home mom (or dad), you have probably heard that question one too many times. It's such a funny question, isn't it? If you really had to answer what would you say?

Before our daughter was born, I worked the typical 9 to 5 office job and thought I did a pretty good job of keeping our house neat, making dinners, saving money...a self-described "domestic diva." But there were many things that I would say, "Well, I'll do that when I'm a stay-at-home mom." HAHA...yeah, right. I didn't realize that cleaning the floors, which used to take me an hour to do the whole house, will now take me a whole day. I read somewhere that when you have kids you can expect a 15 minute job to turn into a 45 minute job. So true.

I have a beautiful friend who has a daughter who is about 9 months older than mine. In addition to being a wonderful wife and mother, she is an amazing writer. Since I was in my blogging hayday, I would always tell her, "Joanna, you should write a blog!" And she would smile and say, "Yes, someday." I could never understand why she didn't have one...until now.

And now that her adorable daughter is a little older, the good news is that Joanna does have an awesome blog. I learn so much from her. Check it out...you will be glad you did!

Moral of the story: Never judge someone before you've walked a mile in their shoes. Especially a stay-at-home mom.

I also want to say a big YAY! for my best friend from college, Rebekah, who has just become a stay-at-home mom to her 5 month old daughter. It's a challenging job, but so worth it!

Picture availabe at AllPosters.com.

The (not so) Importance of STTN

It seems being a parent in America today takes knowing a whole lot - whether the Graco or Chicco travel system will match your car interior better, what crib mattresses are on recall, what childbirth class you had better take or else you and your baby will never bond, etc. Apparently, in addition to all of this, you need to know some acronyms. Actually, you become an acronym. After a month of being a mom, I found out that I was an EBFing, WAHM who was also a FTM. Interesting.

As my family and friends know, I frequently read my "baby board," a discussion group of moms (and a few dads) that all have babies born in the same month. There are FFers (formula feeders), BFers (breastfeeders), BWers (baby wearers), CSers (co-sleepers) and even something that I haven't quite figured out yet called ecoBFers. They discuss everything from diapers to pacifiers to what TV shows they watch when up for those late night feedings. But no single topic gets more play than STTN. Hands down, STTN is the winner.

Before my little bundle of joy was born, I never really thought about "sleeping through the night." Honestly, when I was pregnant, there weren't many nights I STTN myself because someone thought my bladder was a perfect kickball. So I assumed that babies are usually awake throughout the night. I was not prepared for the mass confusion and tons of (dissenting) information I was about to receive.

When we came home from the hospital, Ariella woke up every hour at night to eat or be held. I honestly thought it was normal. I was blissfully unaware that some of my friends' babies were STTN by the time they were 5 days old. One day when she was about two weeks old, I read in a magazine words that amazed me..."Don't worry if you are about to become a zombie; most babies STTN by the time they are 3 months old." Wow! I could not believe my eyes! To a woman who had not had more than 3 hours of consecutive sleep in a couple of weeks, that sounded great! I became ravenous for any material I could get my hands on about STTN.

I read so many suggestions...swaddle your baby, use white noise, put her down in her crib awake so that she learns to soothe herself to sleep, sleep with her, don't sleep with her, nurse her to sleep, never nurse her to sleep, on and on and on. I tried all of it. The swaddle did help until my fiesty little one (as her pediatrician called her) started kicking and pulling out of it at 8 weeks old. I tried other swaddling methods, but she got out of all of them. So I stopped swaddling.
We did get her on a routine, like a few of the books suggested, and that seemed to help with her naps (which was another big surprise). No one ever told me babies can only stay awake for about an hour when they are that little! After we got naps down pat, we started working on bedtime. We experimented with timing, routine, to do a bath or not, is she hot? is she cold? is she wet? is she hungry? EVERYTHING. Finally we got some sort of routine and time that seemed to work well...for awhile. (That's another thing I didn't know about babies - they change all the time, if something works for a week or two, it probably won't work in a month!)
All the while, we still have not STTN. We were getting close, down to about 2 wakings per night. Then we went on vacation, she got sick, and now we're back at about 5 wakings per night. Am I tired? Physically, a little. I'm more tired of trying so hard.

Yesterday, I was praying for Ariella and something hit me like a ton of bricks. Who cares if she STTN now? I read a book that said if she doesn't STTN soon, then she will be sure to have ADHD and be more likely to quit high school and end up in jail than those babies that are STTN. I usually finish books, but that one I promptly stopped and took back to the library. Did our grandmothers have all these books? What did they do? What does God think about STTN?

When I read the Bible (the real one, not one of the "What to Expect..." series), I see nothing about STTN. Ok, there are a few passages about sleep. But I don't think my baby is any less Godly because she has never STTN. (Ok, maybe I occasionally think that at 2 am!) What I do see, is that as a mom I had better focus more on developing her character and training her "in the way that she should go" than spending all my time trying to get her to sleep.

When I ask my mom about when I STTN when I was a baby, she doesn't seem to really remember. (And I don't have ADHD, I didn't quit high school and I've never been in jail, thank God!) Back then, they didn't focus on it like we do now. We are so competitive these days, it's almost like a reality TV show, like my baby is going to get "voted off the island" if she is the weakest link. We have Baby Einstein and yoga for babies and did you know your 3 month old can now read and do sign language and go potty?

Please don't think I am saying that sleep is unimportant. I know it is. There is a Yiddish saying, "Eating and drinking and sleeping all come naturally, but praying and studying Torah seem to take much effort." Ariella will STTN when she is ready to. Just as it took us a few days to learn to BF, she will learn to STTN. But I must teach her to pray and study God's Word. Those are the priorities. The other stuff is secondary. We have to keep first things first. And in my four and a half months as a mom, that's what I've learned.

Oh, gotta go...someone just woke up!

Coming back...

Dear blog,

I'm sorry I've neglected you. I haven't written a good post in a long time. I miss you. I'm coming back.

I know I need to clean you up a bit, and that may take a few days. But I will, and you'll be better than ever.

Love,

Jenny M

Happy Hanukkah!

Just in time for the holiday...here's a free 56-page Hanukkah E-book. Whether this is your first time celebrating this joyous festival or your 50th, this book is sure to be a blessing! My family has used it for years.

And since you haven't seen her in a while, here's my almost-four-month-old (can you believe it's been that long???)!